Today is a great day for I have re-learned a good lesson. The lesson that you should not crave for people, but love them. Long ago, may be a couple of years back, I used to think of love as craving, to twaddle around praising the beloved. But after making good friendship with friends like Vinu, I understood that I was wrong. The foolish claims of granny and grandpa also strengthened my understanding of love and craving. But still I fell into his[1] trap and started craving.
Lets see how I fell into his[1] trap. I live an independent life, mostly a lonely one. I live by the principle that you should love everybody. Love, to me, is simply "being open to experiencing the anguish of another person's suffering. and the the willingness to live with the helpless knowing that we can do nothing to save the other from his pain". I care about those who love me back. But very few people care about me and love me. The most important ones are those in my family. None of them except my sister is here. Now she is also going to leave in few months, making me completely lone person. This fact has been stressing me to think more about her. I have been trying to serve her in some way or other, like cleaning her desk, etc., even though she doesn't need (She's more independent than me). And one day I stupidly thought that I should enjoy with her. But she is busy with her project. So I started craving for her. My anguish forced me to pain her many times. Finally, today I realized the fact that I have been craving to be with her for last few days. And I took good action to avoid it. This is what happened today:
Today, I took my sister's cycle and when I went to return the keys, I thought I would enjoy with her for few minutes, which is what I have been craving for. So I went to her lab and handed over the keys. Then I said that I would sit for few minutes. But she told me to leave. And I didn't leave. She requested me once again. But I didn't leave. So she got angry and left. Then I realized my foolishness and told her (via mail) that I would not talk to her for the next one month.
By not talking to her, I will stop thinking of how to get to her, and start loving her in the right way. If I love her truly, from inside my heart, the only thing that matters is how she is doing and not what she has done for me. I believe that she loves me as a brother and cares about me. It is my fault to doubt her and indulge in craving.
Moral:
It is not easy to avoid craving and it is very tough to avoid craving for those whom you like. My solution to it is to re-establish the love from both sides. Staying away from those who love you is the greatest pain. Even great Rama Chandra couldn't bear it and thought of destroying the whole world for the sake of Sita. But since he loves all the beings, he refrained from destroying the world. He is my favorite person and he helps all those who love him, without any discrimination. The best example is the story "Gajendra moksha", in which he completely forgets everything and starts running to save Gajendra.
---
1 - 'his' refers to Lord Ram Chandra's
5 comments:
I have a much simpler solution to your problem, which I have myself found to be very effective. Love all, serve all, but don't expect anything in return!
If you hadn't expected your sister to give you company when you wanted to be with her, you wouldn't have written this post. :)
@Rakesh: Even I said the same thing. But I am saying that I deviated :). It is very tough to follow that principle. Only by making mistakes we can learn.
All my blog posts are my experiences, so I don't mind writing even a silly thing.
One more thing, I didn't expect much :P. I just wanted to sit beside. Sometimes she behaves like that - randomly gets angry and sometimes shouts at me :P. I am so used to it. But this time, I think it is my mistake.
Also, I don't agree with your statement that "very few people care about me and love me"! There are many who care for you and love you, and sometimes, depend on you; it's just that they don't make it explicit. :)
If you want some person, make them love you first and then you love them. Its the safest way :)
@Arun: Wanting a person is what I am saying as 'craving'. Sure my mom, dad, sister, brother, all of them love me. But wanting them to be with me all the time is foolishness. It is tough to realize that we are craving for them.
And yes, there is no order like what you were saying ;). I am not talking about romantic love.
Post a Comment