a) we like the work or
b) we like the outcome or
c) we are forced to do it or
d) we like to get pained just like that :P
There are other higher forms of suffering which are not so easily understandable. As usual let us use the lens of love to understand these things.
- I like Rama Chandra not just for his greatness, power, etc., but also for being a great sufferer. It is said that Rama and Sita are one of those unfortunate couples who suffer the pain of separation all through their lifetime. He missed her for so much time. And when he finally was able to meet her, he put her to a test of purity. Imagine the pain he would have suffered. Even after the pattabhisheka(act of becoming a king), he had to leave her to forests (according to Uttara Ramayana). He always inspires me in times of suffering. The suffering is often called "Viyoga-duhkam" - the lack/loss of wife.
- Suffering does not mean being sad. People who suffer can also be very happy. Suffering and happiness can be completely independent. Being happy is the best way to take the pain. Being sad is the worst way to take pain as you would suffer more.
- If we think carefully, we'll find that love is the reason behind both happiness and suffering. That's why understanding it is not easy. Here suffering is not first order affect of love. It is the suffering to achieve the love. For example, Rama would not worry if Sita goes to Janaka's house(first order does not cause pain).
- How does love cause suffering?. According to me, conflicts in love give raise to suffering. The conflicts have to be resolved using some laws like "dharma". Rama loves the people and also loves Sita. He cannot accept her without testing her purity because it will conflict the love towards people. Hence he uses dharma and puts her to a fire test to achieve both love. Here Sita suffers as she had to jump into the fire which can potentially kill her. But she loves Rama and can bear any amount of pain. Love also helps in bearing the pain.
- Does love demand action? It does when coupled with dharma. You can always say "I love all" and leave things as they are. But the point here is that you should love all equally. Can Rama love Sita and Ravana simultaneously and leave Sita to him? No! That would be mean that he is loving one more than another. Again this is a conflict and dharma comes into picture. Another way to interpret this is that Rama loves both equally, but he would help Sita only because she has been praying for help. Helping her is rightful than helping Ravana according to dharma.
- Thus, love coupled with dharma would be a very powerful tool to understand life. Prof Ganesh used to say that one should have an anchor in life. For him, it is dharma. He tries to see through the lens of dharma.
- Having an anchor is very important in life. People often choose the easiest one - "take the least painful choice". If that is the anchor in your life, you keep on avoiding things which are painful. You can easily lead a life but would never achieve any fulfillment or understanding of life. Some people go for "best output" as their anchor. I don't like that even. What is the point of doing something which you don't like even if the outcome is something great. My anchor is always "love+dharma". One should always follow one rule and should not vary it according to situation. Often we try to follow something in one and something else in another situation. Best example would be acad life and personal life. In acad life you do things which you like. But in personal life you do things just to take away the pain. We try to avoid people/things/issues which are painful.
- When I want something which my papa does not like, there is a conflict. Simply said, the first order pain of love is the pain caused by you. I would not cause pain to my father and instead love him and do what he said. That's what dharma says. That something which I loved can still be loved but not given priority. If it is a human being, there is a problem. I can treat him/her in the same loving way. But if they are still unhappy because of me, I have no choice. Either I have to break the law and choose one of them - papa or the human being, or I have to suffer endlessly throughout my life.
- My granny is one perfect example for me. I treat her like any of my friends. But she is innocent and always tries to avoid me. I try not to cause any pain to her. And hence I suffer because I have to avoid her. But there is no problem in suffering as I am always happy, a part of which is derived from the fact that she is happy if I stay away. Again suffering is second order like hiding, running away :P, etc.
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Kashyap
