In search of the perfect

Though I'm more of a practical and realistic person, when it comes to the matters of life and living, I've always believed and continue to believe in idealistic things. Life has shown enough examples for me to abandon my belief. But somehow my conscience is unwilling to give up it's search. Probably the world has never seen a perfect lover or a perfect brother or anything perfect. Probably they are too rare. May be that's why I believe in God, because God is perfect. May be that's why I like Mr. Gatsby :).

Personally, I was never close to having an ideal life. Everything went against the idealist way in my life. But that doesn't stop me from believing in the existence of the perfect. Thinking scientifically, our lives are a combination of in-numerous independent events and the probability of each independent event being right is small, making the overall probability too small. But still it's not zero. There's a similar argument for whether aliens exist or not (check Drake equation). I would say that finding the perfect person is like finding an alien. I haven't seen either, so I can safely assume that aliens are perfect :).

It's very easy to say that nobody is perfect. But, is there a perfect? This is the most important question in my life. Because I ask to myself whenever I do something "Am I aiming towards the perfect?".

Good morning Bangalore!

Though it's been more than a year since I settled here, I never got a chance to write about it. With its so called "cool weather", diverse cultures and fuzzy language, Bangalore is unique in its own way.

Though I'm not a fan of the cool and breezy weather here, I surely have reasons to hate it. The air is highly polluted and it made me sick more than once. I started wearing a mask while driving and it helped me a lot. And yes, the mask is just $20/- :P (thinking in dollars helped me forget that Bangalore is a very costly city :)).

Coming to the its language, kannada, it is both near and far from telugu. Some words are common in both, but many telugu words means something completely different in kannada. So I'm having a bad time trying to learn kannada. But it has been self-imposed on me to learn this language ASAP, so that I can interact well with people in orphanages and help them more (swalpa swalpa kannada does not really help).

Last but not the least, I'm having great fun working for my company and so far I did extremely well (my manager is too happy about me :P). I just hope that my salary grows exponentially so that I can realize my dream of building a big orphanage and help all the poor and good people.

Life's reached its equilibrium

My life's been too long. A lot and lot of things have happened. And finally it had to be this way. I knew it, but couldn't guess how. It's all the game of the almighty.

Oh! if you haven't figured it out yet, it's simple. It's like a dip in the holy Ganges. And all you'll see after that is real. The real world with helpless people struggling and struggling all their life. I see them all the time, but I can't do much. It's worthless though if I just said it that way. I will have to do something and I've started it. Lets hope for the best.

Physics and Philosophy have regained their importance. Teaching Physics at the orphanage did bring back my interest on it. And Philosophy is always needed in the matters of social service.

Past has been crucified and buried long back. The characters still play a role during the prayer. I continue to pray for the well being of those whom I love.

Life has finally reached the equilibrium, It'll change only when the terminate button is pressed.

The dark world

Heard the song "Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya hai"?. This article is based on it. You can listen to the song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSo3KVwrp8M

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I see the people, all of them,

insane and dark.

Selfish motives,

only to die one day.

Mean and heartless people!

Where are those?

Those who truly love,

those who truly follow their dharma.

Of what avail is it,

if I prove myself?

If I prove that,

I truly love and do my duty,

what will I gain?

Am I selfish in asking the gain?

But without gain, there is only pain.

I can't die. Nor can I escape the pain.

I will bear it! I will sacrifice my"self".

I will prove myself, for they say

that after pain comes true love,

like lightness comes after darkness.

In the corner of the lab

In the corner of the lab,
lies a lonely kid who works and works and works.
Once in while does he try to get noticed,

but ends up boring his observers.

Far away lie his pals and far away are his parents.

And hence he is alone.

Very thankful to a dear friend,

he gave the chair beside him to her.

But she never sits.

Very grateful to his God,

he gave his heart to him.

But sadly he never comes.

He works tirelessly, but neither for fame nor name.

He works for his Lord.

And he waits patiently,

for he thinks that his Lord will come for him

and his friend will sit beside and help.

Days and years pass, but nothing ever happens.

Ultimately, tired of work, he reaches the end of life.

Not withstanding the pain of waiting, he starts crying.

Then, suddenly, he hears his friend's voice from inside,

"I am you, living in you all the time. I'm the God."

With those words, the little kid leaves his last breath,

the kid who used to sit in the corner of the lab.

A whining kid

Lot of people know that I act like a kid. But, sometimes, I act like a whining kid; complaining and fighting over silly things. And I think I should get rid of that :). There is a quote by Eckhart Tolle, which says:‎

"To complain is always non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness."

Therefore I should completely stop complaining and accept the situation as it is.

When a little kid falls and gets hurt, his mom will try to soothe him by saying "Don't worry, the pain will go.". But when the kid grows, he starts attributing it to something and tries to satisfy himself making that something a reason for his bad luck. A little kid would not do so, because he would not even understand why he got hurt. And I think we should all be exactly like little kids. Because we don't know why things happen they way they are and why we get hurt.

Sadly, I have fought like a bad kid with many of my friends. Recently too, I fought with a dear friend and acted very bad. I fought over silly things like "why are you thanking me so much?", "why are you not smiling?", etc. Thinking back, they look so stupid and meaningless reasons to fight. Luckily, I have a really good bunch of friends. And this dear friend explained me how much of havoc I created and forgave me for my mistake. But I may not be lucky all the time and I should learn to be like a little kid who just cries when he gets hurt, but doesn't complain to anybody. Its that innocence which makes them Gods.

Sage-ified!

After all, I am named after the great sage "Kashyapaha". Isn't it justifiable to be like to him?

Let me tell you why I think I am a sage:

1. I eat twice a day, sometimes only once. Other times, I fill my stomach with fruits, milk, biscuits, etc.

2. I try to be affable and very helpful to people. That's how so many people know me.

3. I utter Ram Chandra ji's name all the time. Always singing and walking in the department, I am well known for the noise I make.

4. I spend most of the time alone, because there are very few people, whom I think are my friends and relatives. My heart is with someone, soul with Ram ji, and body is busy with work. So there is nothing left with me, as my own. Friends come and go, parents can't stay with me. So I've decided that I will stay alone in life.

5. Sage also means a wise person. Not many, but there are few who think that I have a good head. But I am surely not an egghead.

6. Sages are always happy, laughing and sometimes cunning too. Though I am not that good at this, but still, I am happy most of the time because I have nothing to worry about. And I am very cunning also. I often lash doors when somebody is inside and run away. Once, somebody showed me a book and asked me who's book it was and if he could take it to his room and read. I told him to just take it home and if somebody complained, then put it back clandestinely.

7. Last but not the least, don't I look like a sage in the picture?, think of the bottle as kamandal(am)(u). It was given by my sister. I guess she too knew that I was going to be a sage.

Aren't the seven points cogent enough to prove that I am a sage? If not, talk to me and you'll surely agree. From now on, call me "Sage Kashyap" :-).